I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
