I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
