i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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