maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
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Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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