did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
