at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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