A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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