So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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