Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
