No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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