Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Two words: blizzard sex
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
