So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
