What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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