So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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