I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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