it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
