all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
