R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
FUCK WHALES
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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