great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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