I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
