I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize