Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
