we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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