Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
