is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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