Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just puked most of my soul out..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
