But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
