honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
