They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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