Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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