I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize