Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
