I CAN MOONWALK!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So many bounce houses so little time
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize