btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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