fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
