omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i think i have two assholes
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
