Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
