Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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