If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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