i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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