Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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