this beer tastes like vomit already
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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