I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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