jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
