...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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