My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
