I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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