So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
