I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
