I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize