You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize