So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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