return my video game
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
