if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
