I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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