At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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