Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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