You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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