Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just forgot I was standing up.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
