he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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