just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
